That's how the Indian urban roads are going to be once the Nano becomes common-place.
P.S. This is an SMS I got from SBI : "A Nano for every Indian with finance from State Bank Of India.For details, blah blah blah ...". And I know for a fact that we have enough idiots in our country who will take this statement to their hearts.
Showing posts with label gapsa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gapsa. Show all posts
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Rationality,Upper Bounds and Kaju Katli
Prelogue:
GajaBuja Fundas is the name of another blog I have. This piece was initially posted there, and makes an appearance here now since I feel bad about not having written anything here in a long while, but at the same time, am too lazy to write anything afresh.
Why the name Gaja Buja Fundas ? Why not Buja Gaja Fundas ? Could the answer be a rational one backed by logical thinking ?
Yes.
But unfortunately, rationality (w.r.t. the objective theory of self's happiness being supreme) is linked to the ultra-ambiguous 'Free Will'. We shall continue to call it 'Free Will' until we have a more scientific basis as to why we like something and why not something else .
For example, me eating Kaju Katli (an Indian sweet made with cashews) and immediately liking it is free will.Well, yeah, you can talk about taste buds and their correlation with the different molecules found in Kaju Katli, but you really don't know about the happiness part yet.
But if the whole world likes Badam Katli and only you like Kaju Katli, you still buying Kaju Katli every time you go to the sweet shop would be rationality.
So much for a name .
(There is an idea to make this a partnership blog with one more fundoo-ist. I would be Gaja and the other would be Buja. And of course, this blog would then be a collection of our funda-isms.)
Talking of rationality, one of my professors was talking about a modern philosophy called Bounded Rationality.
It goes like this : Each man's ability to take rational decisions has an upper limit,i.e. a bound.
My take on this theory : Yes, but the bound does not in any way imply the defeat of the theory of absolute rationalism. The bound will, gradually, grow outwards and eventually, disappear altogether. Eventually? Yeah, infinite time scale.
Why and How? I feel the bound exists due to what we don't know,i.e. our ignorance. If we knew exactly why(very ambiguous question indeed) we like only the molecules of the Kaju Katli and not the Badam Katli, the role of 'Free Will' gets kicked outta the window.
So, is this state of absolute rationality God? Maybe, maybe not.
GajaBuja Fundas is the name of another blog I have. This piece was initially posted there, and makes an appearance here now since I feel bad about not having written anything here in a long while, but at the same time, am too lazy to write anything afresh.
Why the name Gaja Buja Fundas ? Why not Buja Gaja Fundas ? Could the answer be a rational one backed by logical thinking ?
Yes.
But unfortunately, rationality (w.r.t. the objective theory of self's happiness being supreme) is linked to the ultra-ambiguous 'Free Will'. We shall continue to call it 'Free Will' until we have a more scientific basis as to why we like something and why not something else .
For example, me eating Kaju Katli (an Indian sweet made with cashews) and immediately liking it is free will.Well, yeah, you can talk about taste buds and their correlation with the different molecules found in Kaju Katli, but you really don't know about the happiness part yet.
But if the whole world likes Badam Katli and only you like Kaju Katli, you still buying Kaju Katli every time you go to the sweet shop would be rationality.
So much for a name .
(There is an idea to make this a partnership blog with one more fundoo-ist. I would be Gaja and the other would be Buja. And of course, this blog would then be a collection of our funda-isms.)
Talking of rationality, one of my professors was talking about a modern philosophy called Bounded Rationality.
It goes like this : Each man's ability to take rational decisions has an upper limit,i.e. a bound.
My take on this theory : Yes, but the bound does not in any way imply the defeat of the theory of absolute rationalism. The bound will, gradually, grow outwards and eventually, disappear altogether. Eventually? Yeah, infinite time scale.
Why and How? I feel the bound exists due to what we don't know,i.e. our ignorance. If we knew exactly why(very ambiguous question indeed) we like only the molecules of the Kaju Katli and not the Badam Katli, the role of 'Free Will' gets kicked outta the window.
So, is this state of absolute rationality God? Maybe, maybe not.
Friday, November 14, 2008
_ ____ ____ ___ __________ ...
Meandering slowly through the cluttering with eyes wide open and an observant mind, I tread carefully to make sure I don't damage some fatally important finer detail. The triviality of some things amaze, while the sheer carefreeness of a few others frighten. I see paths leading off , off to no particular destination, in no specific terms of creation and the purpose of them all, defeats me. Even as I hope the one direction I am in holds good, a bigger way takes over in a new sense, a new sense of direction. A maze like none others.
Obstruse obstacles and blasphemous booby traps become common sight. The fights through the barricades and the frustrations of a few dead ends too, become routine.You start thinking of yourself,at most times, in the second or third person.I do.Sometimes you don't. Sometimes you know you are close to something of significance, but the mere complexity makes sure that's the closest you'll get to it. Sometimes you'd wish you had a nuclear bomb to blow it all up. And yet, at other times, it'll all seem so lovely that you'll wish it remain exactly as it always has been. Clouds make you conveniently not-see a few mountain tops, around which there never would be a way. But again, a few earthquakes might, for all you know make sure you'll never see the mountain at all. Confusion over your journey, but you never stop. Frankly, my dear, you can't.
You'll be aghast to see specific sights on the journey, while a sense of sweet deja vu, too, is possible. You'll see your own creations, and fight with them to survive. Maybe, a few will be on your side too, but you don't really know. Atleast not until the battle is over. But then again, when does it get over? Do you get to know? How do you get to know?Is there some way to know? Any way to know? Do you find the answers written on the wall or would you rather take it from the mirrors?
The mirrors. Oh, the mirrors would try all they can. To make you more confused. If that is possible in the first place, that is. Confusion through deception. Or other ways. You'll get more confused by thinking you aren't. Each of them telling you a story. The same, sometimes. Different each, at others. Of how it used to, how it is and how it will be. Of how it could be, how it should be, and how it would be. And how it is, again. And what you will do about it. What do you do? Do you do anything at all? Say something? But isn't silence supposed to be golden? Do I walk away? Which way, then? Left,right or into the sunset? The choice will be yours, but only if you are brave enough to make it. Keep making them. There is no gaurantee, really, that your first one would be correct, after all.
And so you make them. Sometime or the other, you have to;the path will make sure of it. All your choices seem to be a result of chance. You felt one to be better, left the others, realized a few roads down that it wasn't, tried to turn back, were successful;weren't, tried again, gave up, took a new turn all over again and continued on.On and on and on.
There is no signboard saying "The End", with classical music composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart playing in the background, but you know. It is. The End. You turn back and you can see all your journey.The paths you took and the paths you didn't. You try to ask the question, "Why them?". Even before you finish the question you know. There is no answer. That's who you are. Retrospection comes into play. You may even become smug, you never know.A self-professedly scientific chap, you, are even reminded of the butterfly effect. One small right turn down a seemingly harmless gully somewhere and I would have ended up a few light years away.
And this little walk down the conscience might have got dumped into the bay.
Obstruse obstacles and blasphemous booby traps become common sight. The fights through the barricades and the frustrations of a few dead ends too, become routine.You start thinking of yourself,at most times, in the second or third person.I do.Sometimes you don't. Sometimes you know you are close to something of significance, but the mere complexity makes sure that's the closest you'll get to it. Sometimes you'd wish you had a nuclear bomb to blow it all up. And yet, at other times, it'll all seem so lovely that you'll wish it remain exactly as it always has been. Clouds make you conveniently not-see a few mountain tops, around which there never would be a way. But again, a few earthquakes might, for all you know make sure you'll never see the mountain at all. Confusion over your journey, but you never stop. Frankly, my dear, you can't.
You'll be aghast to see specific sights on the journey, while a sense of sweet deja vu, too, is possible. You'll see your own creations, and fight with them to survive. Maybe, a few will be on your side too, but you don't really know. Atleast not until the battle is over. But then again, when does it get over? Do you get to know? How do you get to know?Is there some way to know? Any way to know? Do you find the answers written on the wall or would you rather take it from the mirrors?
The mirrors. Oh, the mirrors would try all they can. To make you more confused. If that is possible in the first place, that is. Confusion through deception. Or other ways. You'll get more confused by thinking you aren't. Each of them telling you a story. The same, sometimes. Different each, at others. Of how it used to, how it is and how it will be. Of how it could be, how it should be, and how it would be. And how it is, again. And what you will do about it. What do you do? Do you do anything at all? Say something? But isn't silence supposed to be golden? Do I walk away? Which way, then? Left,right or into the sunset? The choice will be yours, but only if you are brave enough to make it. Keep making them. There is no gaurantee, really, that your first one would be correct, after all.
And so you make them. Sometime or the other, you have to;the path will make sure of it. All your choices seem to be a result of chance. You felt one to be better, left the others, realized a few roads down that it wasn't, tried to turn back, were successful;weren't, tried again, gave up, took a new turn all over again and continued on.On and on and on.
There is no signboard saying "The End", with classical music composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart playing in the background, but you know. It is. The End. You turn back and you can see all your journey.The paths you took and the paths you didn't. You try to ask the question, "Why them?". Even before you finish the question you know. There is no answer. That's who you are. Retrospection comes into play. You may even become smug, you never know.A self-professedly scientific chap, you, are even reminded of the butterfly effect. One small right turn down a seemingly harmless gully somewhere and I would have ended up a few light years away.
And this little walk down the conscience might have got dumped into the bay.
Friday, June 27, 2008
This Weather Bleddy Well deserves a post !!!
What's common to
Yeah , I know , it's a great opening for a blog post , but the credit ain't mine . It's been blatantly copied from this amazing review of Dasavatharam . Thanks , Mr.Jalsa-and-Jilpa .
Anyways,back to our topic - the weather .
A month and a half back , we had a sandstorm here in Kanpur . I saw people praying like it was the end of the world and yet others close their mouths only when they realized it was full of mud.At two o' clock in the afternoon , it become night here . An everlasting one for few - a coupla dozen poor souls lost their lives on that day .
It was C-R-A-Z-Y .
One month back , it was scorching hot and it was highly humid as well . For one week , it was like hell incarnate.Everything was hot .My notebooks , my shoes , my laptop , my bedsheet even . Sweating like crazy in prickling hot sunlight .
Whoever invented prickly heat powder is God . Really .
And then , it rained . And rained. And rained .
After two days of rains , for close to two weeks , we had what was definitively the best weather in Kanpur I've seen . So much it led my friend to go and blog about it .
And then , suddenly one day , I got up early in the morning , at 7 or so and opened the door to find summer staring at me in my face . It was so hot , I couldn't see without squinting my eyes .
For one day .
The next day it rained . A bit . But not much .
The next day was H-U-M-I-D . I had sweat written all over me .
But thankfully , it was not too hot .
And then , it was bleddy dry for two , the past two days . And it was that way till today afternoon . When it started raining . I look down from my room now and it's pretty much impossible to find a square metre of visible ground . Forget dry ground , that ain't here . It's been raining for 7 hrs on a trot , and heavily at that and shows no signs of slowing down .
.
.
.
.
Tomorrow , it is expected to snow here.Not a blizzard,most probably, but they say it's a possibility .
Well , just kidding , but I wouldn't be surprised if it did .
- A tornado at a speed greater than 100km/hour and
- A blizzard , like the ones they got up at the north pole , harassing all those poor eskimos ?
Yeah , I know , it's a great opening for a blog post , but the credit ain't mine . It's been blatantly copied from this amazing review of Dasavatharam . Thanks , Mr.Jalsa-and-Jilpa .
Anyways,back to our topic - the weather .
A month and a half back , we had a sandstorm here in Kanpur . I saw people praying like it was the end of the world and yet others close their mouths only when they realized it was full of mud.At two o' clock in the afternoon , it become night here . An everlasting one for few - a coupla dozen poor souls lost their lives on that day .
It was C-R-A-Z-Y .
One month back , it was scorching hot and it was highly humid as well . For one week , it was like hell incarnate.Everything was hot .My notebooks , my shoes , my laptop , my bedsheet even . Sweating like crazy in prickling hot sunlight .
Whoever invented prickly heat powder is God . Really .
And then , it rained . And rained. And rained .
After two days of rains , for close to two weeks , we had what was definitively the best weather in Kanpur I've seen . So much it led my friend to go and blog about it .
And then , suddenly one day , I got up early in the morning , at 7 or so and opened the door to find summer staring at me in my face . It was so hot , I couldn't see without squinting my eyes .
For one day .
The next day it rained . A bit . But not much .
The next day was H-U-M-I-D . I had sweat written all over me .
But thankfully , it was not too hot .
And then , it was bleddy dry for two , the past two days . And it was that way till today afternoon . When it started raining . I look down from my room now and it's pretty much impossible to find a square metre of visible ground . Forget dry ground , that ain't here . It's been raining for 7 hrs on a trot , and heavily at that and shows no signs of slowing down .
.
.
.
.
Tomorrow , it is expected to snow here.Not a blizzard,most probably, but they say it's a possibility .
Well , just kidding , but I wouldn't be surprised if it did .
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Dost , Nanban , snehithudu , Friend - College .
Sigma mnu into alpha delta will give the percentage of the faulty pieces in the output.
Sigma mnu into alpha delta.
Sigma mnu into alpha delta .
I was nervous and I had reason to be . In five minutes time , I had to give my presentation, and my head was swimming with greek alphabets I had no interest in. It doesn't really matter here . Your interest . What matters is the grade you get. Copy karo , bheek mango , fraud maaro , bas accha grade la do bas . Kaam Katham .
I was trembling as I took the mike and spoke first about the basics of the course and then this new innovative assembly line idea I had come up with. I had taken huge pains to learn all the coursework and had come up with something new that I thought would work out well .
But as I spoke with shivering notes in my hand and a trembling voice , I realized my thoughts had no relevance to the grading .My ideas fell upon deaf ears and my interests had no takers . I was a misfit here.
Frustrated I was. Anger swelled up in me as I returned to my hostel .
That fucken professor should be dismissed .
Chalo yaar , chai piyo , mast jiyo . Kai ke liye itna tension le rao ?? Chill mar bhai !!
As always ,Dhiresh was there to make life easier . And a few others .
Kya ? Fukka kaa liya ? Tik hai yaar ... agle baar dekh lete hain . Kya dikkhat hai ? ...
Chod diya ? Tumko chod diya ? Arey baap re ... Pagal hogi wo ladki . Tu chinta mat kar , usse sau guna zyaada mast bandi milegi tumko . Tumhari to kismat hi waisa hai ...
Rest le . Tu rest le pehle . Padai wadai sab bandh . Doctor ne rest lene bola hai aur wo hi karega tu . Chup Chaap juice piyo aur so jau . Chicken pox hai bhai , koi mazaak nahi ho rai idhar .
Cricket team mein select nahin hua , to kya ? Aur koi sport hi nahin hai kya ? cricket ke alava koi jeevan hi nahi hai kya ? Lite le lo yaar . . . Ek kaam kar , tu mere saath guitar seekhne aa jao , ek hi saal mein naya band form kar lete hain ...
Akele chal rahe ho ?Bahut door hai yaar service center . Bore ho jaoge . Ruk , mein bi aata hoon .
College mein dosti hoti hai .
Dosti mein masti hoti hai .
Aur padai bi usi mein hoti hai .
College main dosti bindaaz
to baaki sab bakwaas
Well , almost .
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
College has , is , and will always be about the friends and their friendships . It's them who shape your personality , views and character . IITK is no exception . The technical demographics , the grades , cpi , spi , resumes , project reports , assignments , etc . will remain as pure details and nothing more .
The above post is part fiction and part non-fiction . The line between the two , is also , merely a part of the details .
I tribute this post to Dhiresh,Pratik,Pranay,Adarsh,Vinay,Sai and Sukrit . These guys have made my life at IITK memorable . Thank you chaps .
Sigma mnu into alpha delta.
Sigma mnu into alpha delta .
I was nervous and I had reason to be . In five minutes time , I had to give my presentation, and my head was swimming with greek alphabets I had no interest in. It doesn't really matter here . Your interest . What matters is the grade you get. Copy karo , bheek mango , fraud maaro , bas accha grade la do bas . Kaam Katham .
I was trembling as I took the mike and spoke first about the basics of the course and then this new innovative assembly line idea I had come up with. I had taken huge pains to learn all the coursework and had come up with something new that I thought would work out well .
But as I spoke with shivering notes in my hand and a trembling voice , I realized my thoughts had no relevance to the grading .My ideas fell upon deaf ears and my interests had no takers . I was a misfit here.
Frustrated I was. Anger swelled up in me as I returned to my hostel .
That fucken professor should be dismissed .
Chalo yaar , chai piyo , mast jiyo . Kai ke liye itna tension le rao ?? Chill mar bhai !!
As always ,Dhiresh was there to make life easier . And a few others .
Kya ? Fukka kaa liya ? Tik hai yaar ... agle baar dekh lete hain . Kya dikkhat hai ? ...
Chod diya ? Tumko chod diya ? Arey baap re ... Pagal hogi wo ladki . Tu chinta mat kar , usse sau guna zyaada mast bandi milegi tumko . Tumhari to kismat hi waisa hai ...
Rest le . Tu rest le pehle . Padai wadai sab bandh . Doctor ne rest lene bola hai aur wo hi karega tu . Chup Chaap juice piyo aur so jau . Chicken pox hai bhai , koi mazaak nahi ho rai idhar .
Cricket team mein select nahin hua , to kya ? Aur koi sport hi nahin hai kya ? cricket ke alava koi jeevan hi nahi hai kya ? Lite le lo yaar . . . Ek kaam kar , tu mere saath guitar seekhne aa jao , ek hi saal mein naya band form kar lete hain ...
Akele chal rahe ho ?Bahut door hai yaar service center . Bore ho jaoge . Ruk , mein bi aata hoon .
College mein dosti hoti hai .
Dosti mein masti hoti hai .
Aur padai bi usi mein hoti hai .
College main dosti bindaaz
to baaki sab bakwaas
Well , almost .
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
College has , is , and will always be about the friends and their friendships . It's them who shape your personality , views and character . IITK is no exception . The technical demographics , the grades , cpi , spi , resumes , project reports , assignments , etc . will remain as pure details and nothing more .
The above post is part fiction and part non-fiction . The line between the two , is also , merely a part of the details .
I tribute this post to Dhiresh,Pratik,Pranay,Adarsh,Vinay,Sai and Sukrit . These guys have made my life at IITK memorable . Thank you chaps .
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Swivelling Layers of Condescension
I was born into this world hale and hearty
It was decided early on I was a smarty
And was written off to write the J E E
though elsewhere lay the interests of yours truly
With heart set to break tradition
I went into film and action
a hundred people had a hundred things to say
and made my family's view on me sway
this field became unworthy of my family's attention
they had to take care of their lofty reputation
My family withheld it's supple support and
I was left to find my own life transport
A few hardships for me and pity in my family stirred
All I had to do was shake my head and nod
I could become half my family business' head
and Prove to the world I was still of sterling breed
I did indeed , after a lengthy monologue , shake my head
A strong no it was and doors were forever shut
I was left alone , amidst confused love and tension
sinking , in the swivelling layers of condescension
The title and inspiration was a podcast I heard , by Suresh ......tamilians , do check out his podcasts...they are amazing .
P.S. This poem is not some self-reflecting poem or anything . I chose to write the JEE of my own stupidity .
It was decided early on I was a smarty
And was written off to write the J E E
though elsewhere lay the interests of yours truly
With heart set to break tradition
I went into film and action
a hundred people had a hundred things to say
and made my family's view on me sway
this field became unworthy of my family's attention
they had to take care of their lofty reputation
My family withheld it's supple support and
I was left to find my own life transport
A few hardships for me and pity in my family stirred
All I had to do was shake my head and nod
I could become half my family business' head
and Prove to the world I was still of sterling breed
I did indeed , after a lengthy monologue , shake my head
A strong no it was and doors were forever shut
I was left alone , amidst confused love and tension
sinking , in the swivelling layers of condescension
The title and inspiration was a podcast I heard , by Suresh ......tamilians , do check out his podcasts...they are amazing .
P.S. This poem is not some self-reflecting poem or anything . I chose to write the JEE of my own stupidity .
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Green
(this was my entry for the green themed contest on IAW on orkut)
The moment I think of the word 'green' , NATURE pops up in my mind . Trees , more specifically leaves . Bright , lively green comes first before I think of the deep,mysterious woods of Enid Blyton novels and the green in my mind goes dull and dark . Then I think of pictures of green seas , where the water appears to be more like some kind of a giant martini of green color . And it is at this exact progression that Karla enters into my thought process . The infinitely mysterious Karla . Each and every person who has read Shantaram will know exactly what I mean . The green eyes , the green skirt , the leaves with that precise shade of green that Linbaba sees in Mauritius ( is it Mauritius only or have I forgotten? ) . I keep thinking about Karla for a long time before I realize I have a post to finish . And then , I think of BRUT , the deodorant . A striking metallic green . Various other objects come into my mind - mountain dew , lord of the rings movies , my guitar case , the od old car I used to see near my school . But I keep coming back to Karla . For this shade of green that is the green that I can't think of in my mind . The one green I would love to see the most but something I know I can't ever .
The moment I think of the word 'green' , NATURE pops up in my mind . Trees , more specifically leaves . Bright , lively green comes first before I think of the deep,mysterious woods of Enid Blyton novels and the green in my mind goes dull and dark . Then I think of pictures of green seas , where the water appears to be more like some kind of a giant martini of green color . And it is at this exact progression that Karla enters into my thought process . The infinitely mysterious Karla . Each and every person who has read Shantaram will know exactly what I mean . The green eyes , the green skirt , the leaves with that precise shade of green that Linbaba sees in Mauritius ( is it Mauritius only or have I forgotten? ) . I keep thinking about Karla for a long time before I realize I have a post to finish . And then , I think of BRUT , the deodorant . A striking metallic green . Various other objects come into my mind - mountain dew , lord of the rings movies , my guitar case , the od old car I used to see near my school . But I keep coming back to Karla . For this shade of green that is the green that I can't think of in my mind . The one green I would love to see the most but something I know I can't ever .
Monday, March 10, 2008
Hope
If you've seen this very popular tsunami video , the water recedes back quite a bit and then this huge,HUGE wave comes crashing out ,out of the blue . Similarly , there are times in life when you are going through a dark phase but the thought of something better , something you cherish , something so special you can't even describe it properly just makes you swell up with a gigantic wave of happiness . The very thought of it makes you burst out in a hopeless grin . In shawshank redemption , Red says that hope can drive a man insane , but I feel , in reality , hope is what drives the world . Hope , that you are gonna be part of a brighter future , a happier scene , a satisfied moment , at peace with the world with all the faults in it . This single hope pushes back all the other seemingly inconsequential issues into the dark . You start counting the weeks , the days , then you fervently tick off the minutes . Your mind tingles in anticipation . You blush for no reason , you are that happy .
I am .
Come Friday , I'll be leaving for home .
I am .
Come Friday , I'll be leaving for home .
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Loneliness - Rewritten
I live amidst thousands of people on campus . Five thousand odd students . Another 5000+ campus residents . Apart from thousands of others going to and coming from the notorious Nankari region . There are innumerable forums to voice our views , most notably the internet . The counseling service sole purpose of existence is to make sure I don't feel too depressed .
There are 'bhais' and 'wingies' to have discussions on anything I want to . There is a 'baap' to ensure I get properly oriented to this place . So many clubs , so many groups , all to make sure none of my hidden talents go wasted . So many people , so many activities .
Night -long brainstorming sessions followed by relaxing tea breaks at MT , and then to sleep , to big,big dreams , revolutionary ideas , path breaking innovations . So many people , so many ideas , so many discussions , so many activities . So much I've done ; so much I am doing ; so much I've yet got to do .
Stop .
Why in fucken hell then am I feeling so lonely here ?
Long,long pause .
Am I lonely or do I see myself as being lonely ? I definitely am not lonely in a physical sense . But even speaking of the mental plane , am I really lonely ? Or am I just convincing myself that I am lonely ? The latter seems more convincing for the moment . Yes , I am just fooling around with myself . Heck, I am NOT lonely . Atleast do not feel that way right now .
So long till I feel lonely enough to sit down and write such crap as I have just written .
Ha Ha Ha Ha .
There are 'bhais' and 'wingies' to have discussions on anything I want to . There is a 'baap' to ensure I get properly oriented to this place . So many clubs , so many groups , all to make sure none of my hidden talents go wasted . So many people , so many activities .
Night -long brainstorming sessions followed by relaxing tea breaks at MT , and then to sleep , to big,big dreams , revolutionary ideas , path breaking innovations . So many people , so many ideas , so many discussions , so many activities . So much I've done ; so much I am doing ; so much I've yet got to do .
Stop .
Why in fucken hell then am I feeling so lonely here ?
Long,long pause .
Am I lonely or do I see myself as being lonely ? I definitely am not lonely in a physical sense . But even speaking of the mental plane , am I really lonely ? Or am I just convincing myself that I am lonely ? The latter seems more convincing for the moment . Yes , I am just fooling around with myself . Heck, I am NOT lonely . Atleast do not feel that way right now .
So long till I feel lonely enough to sit down and write such crap as I have just written .
Ha Ha Ha Ha .
IDENTITY
Of whatever I can remember of my short life so far , I've always been defending one culture or the other . Sometimes at the cost of another dear one even . It was telugu films , telugu culture while I was in school . Not a week used to pass without an argument over whether telugu heroes were more ridiculous or tamil heroes were more ridiculous . Once I moved to Hyderabad , it was exactly the same argument , only I was arguing for the tamil heroes this time around . I should have been happy with what I had and realized there was worse to come . Now in Kanpur , i have it upon myself to defend both Tamil and Telugu films apart from the occasional argument for Mallu films as well . Whats more , it's not just films anymore . The boundaries have been pushed back to include language , food , dressing styles , religion , marriage and what not . Each and every facet of our way of living has been argued over , always with two sides at the least ,mostly North and South .
Even as I struggle to break out of these societal bindings , I wonder what IS my culture ? What am I ? Chennai-ite? IITian ? Golti ? Indian ? Or should I restrict myself to a South Indian ? Or am I a global citizen ? Decide on one and arguments pop up for the others .
It's not just me either . Most students here are trying to come up with a fixed identity for themselves . And once they do , they start closing their mind for other suggestions , other options and stand steadfast by their identities , irrespective of whether their identities are justified or not . A self-professed fan of SRK is never gonna(mostly) accept that SRK is no better than Rajni , while a strictly Rajni fan might not be able to come to peace with the fact that Rajni is no longer the amazing performer he once was . You might be wondering...is this all part of one's identity ? Do our fave heroes , our food habits form a part of our identity ? Definitely . People fucken die for Rajni man .
Lets get back to the topic . Identity . Can anyone have a fixed identity which isn't ever gonna change ? Say , you have never tasted coffee but strictly believe you won't like it . One day , your girlfriend forces you to drink some coffee she made and you realize you actually like it . Love it infact . More than your girlfriend even . Does this change your identity?? You bet it does . From a dumb , idiotic,ignorant moron , you become a coffee loving,dumb,idiotic,ignorant moron .
Again, so what constitutes an Identity ? Or can we even say X , Y and Z form part of your identity while A,B and C don't ? Heck, first break out of the narrow confines of your mind and come to terms with the fact that a person can't ever have a fixed Identity . Yes, you do have an identity but it keeps changing . Continuously . Perennially .
So, what am I now ? I am just Pavan Madhini . What you make of me is your problem and not mine . I am happy the way I am - a continually changing , confused, confident , cool chap who is a Chennai-ite at heart . As of now .
Even as I struggle to break out of these societal bindings , I wonder what IS my culture ? What am I ? Chennai-ite? IITian ? Golti ? Indian ? Or should I restrict myself to a South Indian ? Or am I a global citizen ? Decide on one and arguments pop up for the others .
It's not just me either . Most students here are trying to come up with a fixed identity for themselves . And once they do , they start closing their mind for other suggestions , other options and stand steadfast by their identities , irrespective of whether their identities are justified or not . A self-professed fan of SRK is never gonna(mostly) accept that SRK is no better than Rajni , while a strictly Rajni fan might not be able to come to peace with the fact that Rajni is no longer the amazing performer he once was . You might be wondering...is this all part of one's identity ? Do our fave heroes , our food habits form a part of our identity ? Definitely . People fucken die for Rajni man .
Lets get back to the topic . Identity . Can anyone have a fixed identity which isn't ever gonna change ? Say , you have never tasted coffee but strictly believe you won't like it . One day , your girlfriend forces you to drink some coffee she made and you realize you actually like it . Love it infact . More than your girlfriend even . Does this change your identity?? You bet it does . From a dumb , idiotic,ignorant moron , you become a coffee loving,dumb,idiotic,ignorant moron .
Again, so what constitutes an Identity ? Or can we even say X , Y and Z form part of your identity while A,B and C don't ? Heck, first break out of the narrow confines of your mind and come to terms with the fact that a person can't ever have a fixed Identity . Yes, you do have an identity but it keeps changing . Continuously . Perennially .
So, what am I now ? I am just Pavan Madhini . What you make of me is your problem and not mine . I am happy the way I am - a continually changing , confused, confident , cool chap who is a Chennai-ite at heart . As of now .
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
RED
Anger . Love . Valentines . Girls . SinCity . Blood . Anukokunda Oka Roju . Charmy . Manchester United . Liverpool , Arsenal . Ferrari . Schumi . Mrunal . My name is RED . Blood again . Zimbabwe . Coca-Cola . Redheads . Archie . Lipstick . Communists . Karl Marx . Sauce . Chicken Tikka . My back pack . Blood again . And again . I know , I am psychotic . Ducati 999 . My fake Nike tee . Trying to think of more "RED" stuff . Blank . Still Blank . End of lecture . End of post .
Saturday, January 26, 2008
SEVERAL SPECIES OF SMALL FURRY ANIMALS GATHERED TOGETHER IN A CAVE AND GROOVING WITH A PICT
If you think the title is weird, listen to the song here with this name first .
Band : Pink Floyd
Album: UmmaGumma
Band : Pink Floyd
Album: UmmaGumma
Sunday, January 13, 2008
My first attempt at Poetry
A couple of days , the sun shone bright
our bodies glowed , from the golden sunlight
The grounds were busy with all kinda sport
it was but , alack , short lived hope .
It came back with a vengeance
like a dark lord , back from his penance .
It is really, really cold again , here .
Damn this fucken blasted weather .
our bodies glowed , from the golden sunlight
The grounds were busy with all kinda sport
it was but , alack , short lived hope .
It came back with a vengeance
like a dark lord , back from his penance .
It is really, really cold again , here .
Damn this fucken blasted weather .
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Heroes - Worshtu
Heroes is this television series that everyone here at IITK is talking about . The first season attracted an average of 14.3 million viewers in the United States and received the highest rating for any NBC drama premiere in five years.
Today , I decided to see what it was all about and started the first episode of season one . About three minutes into it , the serial shifts to a scene in " Madras, India " and goes on to become one of the worst depictions of India I have ever seen . From blazer-wearing twenty-something prof teaching genetics to a class which definitely looks elder than the prof himself , to totally accentuated english from everyone , it is so,so UN-Indian....that I wonder why the director chose India as a location for one of his heroes if he was so ignorant about the place .
We also have a guy roaming the streets wearing a coat and a.....believe it or not.....a bow-tie . And lest I forget, the streets were cobbled too....
I am now dying to see what the rest of the series has in store for me .
Today , I decided to see what it was all about and started the first episode of season one . About three minutes into it , the serial shifts to a scene in " Madras, India " and goes on to become one of the worst depictions of India I have ever seen . From blazer-wearing twenty-something prof teaching genetics to a class which definitely looks elder than the prof himself , to totally accentuated english from everyone , it is so,so UN-Indian....that I wonder why the director chose India as a location for one of his heroes if he was so ignorant about the place .
We also have a guy roaming the streets wearing a coat and a.....believe it or not.....a bow-tie . And lest I forget, the streets were cobbled too....
I am now dying to see what the rest of the series has in store for me .
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Mind Your LANGUAGE ! Bleddy !
Last week , i went over to my friend's apartments to play cricket and we were discussing plans to go to a movie when all off a sudden , this 40 something gentleman shouted at us , " Mind Your Language !!! " . Uh ? .
He went on to tell us how we shouldn't be using "unparliamentary" words inside the apartments and should keep our filthy chats to the streets . All of us were still staring at him like he was crazy .
And he stared back at us . The staring game went on for quite a few seconds before I thought of asking what exact words we were using . Bleddy . This was the word he had heard one of us utter which had sent him mad . ( Personally speaking , I later realized that he must have probably had a very bad day from his wife :) ) .
.
.
.
.
So much for those apartments ; lets consider IIT Kanpur . Yeah , its still one of the best colleges in India . As for the scenario in IITK , a few facts about the spoken word here are :
He went on to tell us how we shouldn't be using "unparliamentary" words inside the apartments and should keep our filthy chats to the streets . All of us were still staring at him like he was crazy .
And he stared back at us . The staring game went on for quite a few seconds before I thought of asking what exact words we were using . Bleddy . This was the word he had heard one of us utter which had sent him mad . ( Personally speaking , I later realized that he must have probably had a very bad day from his wife :) ) .
.
.
.
.
So much for those apartments ; lets consider IIT Kanpur . Yeah , its still one of the best colleges in India . As for the scenario in IITK , a few facts about the spoken word here are :
- The first 40 or so words I learnt in Hindi (during the first few days at college) were "gaalis" , i.e. swear words .
- Every alternate sentence begins with bhenchoddh .
- The in-between sentences begin with madarchoddh .
- The sentences which begin with bhenchoddh end with madarchoddh and those which begin with madarchoddh end with bhenchoddh .
- The few rare sentences which don't start with either of bhenchoddh or madarchoddh begin with either of bosdickey/maakichooth-theri .
- If you know what the fore-mentioned gaalis mean , good for you . If you don't , even better . If you still want to know , DON'T ask me .
- Yes of course , every sentence has atleast two other distinct gaalis in between the starting and the ending .
- Quite a few creative students burn up their grey cells in coming up with new innovative gaalis every week . An interesting example is " Mayya-ki-Bua" , invented by Ankit Agarwal .
- A special should be made of "Madhar-Puttu" , which came into vogue after it was used by a Rajnikanth look-alike in Deepshika , the Hall 2 festival .
Friday, December 14, 2007
RajniKanth
It's been two days since RajniKanth alias Thalaivar turned 57 and he's still the hot topic for discussion here . Two television channels are having month long Rajni-centered programs while MoserBaer has come out with a special RAJNI DVD pack . Various other rajni-centred events have been taking place throughout this month .
Coming to the man himself , it's as if he has disappeared from the face of the earth . Nobody seems to know where he was on his birthday .
Having lived in three different cities till now , I have noticed various views about Rajni - utter devotion from die-hard fans , respect from people for his humble nature , ridicule from ignorant fellows up north , dislike , admiration , craze , etcetera , etcetera . Having seen quite a few of his films , I can't do anything but wonder the way fate has taken him from Bangalore bus stands to the highest position in Star-dom . No hero , be it Amitabh Bachhan or Brad Pitt would have ever enjoyed adulation like Rajni does . From morning pujas to BEER-abhishekams , this chap has seen it all . But to call him a BAD ACTOR will not do justice to Rajni . North Indians , and even people of other southern states have seen only Rajni the SUPERSTAR , only his action-packed masala flicks, which has lead to the misconception that Rajni has done only films of this kind .
One statement a lot of people would agree with me will be : Kamal is an exceptional actor . Let me tell you something else ; I have seen three films starring both Kamal and Rajni and Rajni OUTSHINES Kamal in all the three , purely in terms of better acting . Padhinaru Vayadhinile , Ninaithale Inikkum and Aval Appadithaan . The latter especially needs a special mention as one of the best Indian films I have ever seen . Released in 1978 , it had a female character (beautifully portrayed by SriPriya) as the main protagonist and Rajni donning the role of an MCP . That is Male Chauvinist Pig for those who don't know . Apart from these films , anyone who has seen ThilluMullu will never say Rajni doesn't know how to act . Mullum Malarum , Johnny , Dalapathi , Batsha (The king of all masala films ever) are other films where I felt Rajni gave stellar performances .
Something I've found really amusing in IITK is how ppl seem to find Rajni hitting four bad guys at once as ridiculous while they don't mind SRK chasing a scorpio in a cycle-rickshaw . Heck, every industry part of Indian Cinema has these gravity-defying scenes , be it Bolly/Kolly/Tolly-wood . But no film industry in the world has ever seen a star bigger than RajniKanth . Never will either .
For those of you who don't know it already , Rajni's next film is an animation flick called SULTAN . Now, if this film becomes a huge hit(which it probably will) , probability is there will be Rajni films releasing fifty years from now in animation format . :)
You can like Rajni or hate Rajni , but you can't ignore Rajni . At least not if you are in Chennai right now .
Coming to the man himself , it's as if he has disappeared from the face of the earth . Nobody seems to know where he was on his birthday .
Having lived in three different cities till now , I have noticed various views about Rajni - utter devotion from die-hard fans , respect from people for his humble nature , ridicule from ignorant fellows up north , dislike , admiration , craze , etcetera , etcetera . Having seen quite a few of his films , I can't do anything but wonder the way fate has taken him from Bangalore bus stands to the highest position in Star-dom . No hero , be it Amitabh Bachhan or Brad Pitt would have ever enjoyed adulation like Rajni does . From morning pujas to BEER-abhishekams , this chap has seen it all . But to call him a BAD ACTOR will not do justice to Rajni . North Indians , and even people of other southern states have seen only Rajni the SUPERSTAR , only his action-packed masala flicks, which has lead to the misconception that Rajni has done only films of this kind .
One statement a lot of people would agree with me will be : Kamal is an exceptional actor . Let me tell you something else ; I have seen three films starring both Kamal and Rajni and Rajni OUTSHINES Kamal in all the three , purely in terms of better acting . Padhinaru Vayadhinile , Ninaithale Inikkum and Aval Appadithaan . The latter especially needs a special mention as one of the best Indian films I have ever seen . Released in 1978 , it had a female character (beautifully portrayed by SriPriya) as the main protagonist and Rajni donning the role of an MCP . That is Male Chauvinist Pig for those who don't know . Apart from these films , anyone who has seen ThilluMullu will never say Rajni doesn't know how to act . Mullum Malarum , Johnny , Dalapathi , Batsha (The king of all masala films ever) are other films where I felt Rajni gave stellar performances .
Something I've found really amusing in IITK is how ppl seem to find Rajni hitting four bad guys at once as ridiculous while they don't mind SRK chasing a scorpio in a cycle-rickshaw . Heck, every industry part of Indian Cinema has these gravity-defying scenes , be it Bolly/Kolly/Tolly-wood . But no film industry in the world has ever seen a star bigger than RajniKanth . Never will either .
For those of you who don't know it already , Rajni's next film is an animation flick called SULTAN . Now, if this film becomes a huge hit(which it probably will) , probability is there will be Rajni films releasing fifty years from now in animation format . :)
You can like Rajni or hate Rajni , but you can't ignore Rajni . At least not if you are in Chennai right now .
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Those Small Small Things....
Ever thought of those small,small things you do now and then which make you really happy for a couple of moments???Sliding down the railing on a specific staircase,having special chai in the morning after jogging , walking along the corridor and suddenly bowling an imaginary delivery at an imaginary batsman ; trying to throw the ball of waste paper into the dustbin ; actually managing to throw the ball of waste paper into the dustbin ; taking a morsel of food into your mouth and revolving it around for a few seconds without swallowing ; sprinkling water suddenly on your friends ; trying to fool your friend telling him there was a quiz during the class he missed ; smelling your cup of coffee before drinking it ; twirling your mobile in your hand with nothing else to do ; singing your favorite song and trying to tap dance at the same time in the confines of the bathroom ...........
Monday, October 1, 2007
Selfish.
Observations :
Conclusion :
EVERYONE IS SELFISH . PERIOD .
Gandhiji , Mother Teresa , Paris Hilton , my roomie , you , me , everyone do what we do because we want to do it for ourselves . Say , we give 10 rupees to a begger . We do it more to satisfy our conscience rather than to feed the beggar . The fact that these two points are connected is a different matter to be discussed somewhere else . Anyways , my point is every single action in this world can be deconstructed to signify an act of selfishness .
Added After a few days of posting this , the following is what my bro had to say on this:
"This deconstruction is pointless. I could counter it with - there are different kinds of selfishness. The selfish being that hurts a heart. A selfish act that causes negligible pain or damage. A selfish person who massacres millions of people. A selfish person who feeds a hungry person. A 'selfish' person who has such a profound effect on humanity that it changes the very perception of life. Therefore, there are two extremes and between those lie infinite degrees of selfishness to choose from."
- Gandhiji was a great freedom fighter .
- Paris Hilton is a very active socialite.
- Mother Teresa did a lot of social work .
- My roomie , Dhiresh is very good at business matters .
- Gandhiji did what he did because he wouldn't have been happier doing anything else .
- Paris Hilton wants to become more and more famous .
- Mother Teresa wanted to change the world into a better place as much as she could .
- Dhiru likes to read about businesses , stock market , etc .
Conclusion :
EVERYONE IS SELFISH . PERIOD .
Gandhiji , Mother Teresa , Paris Hilton , my roomie , you , me , everyone do what we do because we want to do it for ourselves . Say , we give 10 rupees to a begger . We do it more to satisfy our conscience rather than to feed the beggar . The fact that these two points are connected is a different matter to be discussed somewhere else . Anyways , my point is every single action in this world can be deconstructed to signify an act of selfishness .
Added After a few days of posting this , the following is what my bro had to say on this:
"This deconstruction is pointless. I could counter it with - there are different kinds of selfishness. The selfish being that hurts a heart. A selfish act that causes negligible pain or damage. A selfish person who massacres millions of people. A selfish person who feeds a hungry person. A 'selfish' person who has such a profound effect on humanity that it changes the very perception of life. Therefore, there are two extremes and between those lie infinite degrees of selfishness to choose from."
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
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