Hope

If you've seen this very popular tsunami video , the water recedes back quite a bit and then this huge,HUGE wave comes crashing out ,out of the blue . Similarly , there are times in life when you are going through a dark phase but the thought of something better , something you cherish , something so special you can't even describe it properly just makes you swell up with a gigantic wave of happiness . The very thought of it makes you burst out in a hopeless grin . In shawshank redemption , Red says that hope can drive a man insane , but I feel , in reality , hope is what drives the world . Hope , that you are gonna be part of a brighter future , a happier scene , a satisfied moment , at peace with the world with all the faults in it . This single hope pushes back all the other seemingly inconsequential issues into the dark . You start counting the weeks , the days , then you fervently tick off the minutes . Your mind tingles in anticipation . You blush for no reason , you are that happy .
I am .
Come Friday , I'll be leaving for home .

a glance at perfection

Agnes Martin

Loneliness - Rewritten

I live amidst thousands of people on campus . Five thousand odd students . Another 5000+ campus residents . Apart from thousands of others going to and coming from the notorious Nankari region . There are innumerable forums to voice our views , most notably the internet . The counseling service sole purpose of existence is to make sure I don't feel too depressed .
There are 'bhais' and 'wingies' to have discussions on anything I want to . There is a 'baap' to ensure I get properly oriented to this place . So many clubs , so many groups , all to make sure none of my hidden talents go wasted . So many people , so many activities .
Night -long brainstorming sessions followed by relaxing tea breaks at MT , and then to sleep , to big,big dreams , revolutionary ideas , path breaking innovations . So many people , so many ideas , so many discussions , so many activities . So much I've done ; so much I am doing ; so much I've yet got to do .
Stop .
Why in fucken hell then am I feeling so lonely here ?
Long,long pause .
Am I lonely or do I see myself as being lonely ? I definitely am not lonely in a physical sense . But even speaking of the mental plane , am I really lonely ? Or am I just convincing myself that I am lonely ? The latter seems more convincing for the moment . Yes , I am just fooling around with myself . Heck, I am NOT lonely . Atleast do not feel that way right now .
So long till I feel lonely enough to sit down and write such crap as I have just written .
Ha Ha Ha Ha .

IDENTITY

Of whatever I can remember of my short life so far , I've always been defending one culture or the other . Sometimes at the cost of another dear one even . It was telugu films , telugu culture while I was in school . Not a week used to pass without an argument over whether telugu heroes were more ridiculous or tamil heroes were more ridiculous . Once I moved to Hyderabad , it was exactly the same argument , only I was arguing for the tamil heroes this time around . I should have been happy with what I had and realized there was worse to come . Now in Kanpur , i have it upon myself to defend both Tamil and Telugu films apart from the occasional argument for Mallu films as well . Whats more , it's not just films anymore . The boundaries have been pushed back to include language , food , dressing styles , religion , marriage and what not . Each and every facet of our way of living has been argued over , always with two sides at the least ,mostly North and South .
Even as I struggle to break out of these societal bindings , I wonder what IS my culture ? What am I ? Chennai-ite? IITian ? Golti ? Indian ? Or should I restrict myself to a South Indian ? Or am I a global citizen ? Decide on one and arguments pop up for the others .
It's not just me either . Most students here are trying to come up with a fixed identity for themselves . And once they do , they start closing their mind for other suggestions , other options and stand steadfast by their identities , irrespective of whether their identities are justified or not . A self-professed fan of SRK is never gonna(mostly) accept that SRK is no better than Rajni , while a strictly Rajni fan might not be able to come to peace with the fact that Rajni is no longer the amazing performer he once was . You might be wondering...is this all part of one's identity ? Do our fave heroes , our food habits form a part of our identity ? Definitely . People fucken die for Rajni man .
Lets get back to the topic . Identity . Can anyone have a fixed identity which isn't ever gonna change ? Say , you have never tasted coffee but strictly believe you won't like it . One day , your girlfriend forces you to drink some coffee she made and you realize you actually like it . Love it infact . More than your girlfriend even . Does this change your identity?? You bet it does . From a dumb , idiotic,ignorant moron , you become a coffee loving,dumb,idiotic,ignorant moron .
Again, so what constitutes an Identity ? Or can we even say X , Y and Z form part of your identity while A,B and C don't ? Heck, first break out of the narrow confines of your mind and come to terms with the fact that a person can't ever have a fixed Identity . Yes, you do have an identity but it keeps changing . Continuously . Perennially .
So, what am I now ? I am just Pavan Madhini . What you make of me is your problem and not mine . I am happy the way I am - a continually changing , confused, confident , cool chap who is a Chennai-ite at heart . As of now .

Nothing personal. Just business.

From its website: The Apprentice Africa will gather 18 contestants from across Africa and the diaspora who will compete for a lucrative corporate job with befitting perks and an annual salary of $200,000. Read More about the show: The Apprentice Africa

Xu Bing

"The Installation "ABC" is comprised of a series of ceramic cubes reminiscent of oversized children's alphabet blocks, but marked with the artist's own "transliterations" into Chinese of the twenty-six letters of the Roman alphabet. The Chinese character(s) are carved on the upper face of each block in the form of a printer's stamp and the Roman letter represented by the characters is carved on the side. When pronounced, the characters render sounds approximating those of the English letters. For example, the letter "A" is represented by the Chinese character "ai", which means sadness, while "W" is represented
by the three characters "da", "bu", "liu" which mean big, cloth, and six, respectively. While this undertaking appears at first to be a perfectly rational exercise in linguistic communication, what ultimately comes across is an underlying sense of awkwardness and absurdity." Thanks Sarah for the email.

Detached Conceptualism

Erik Wysocan's "Untitled (Frozen Moment)" brings to mind two artists: Marcel Duchamp and Michael Craig-Martin. Both artists, the latter inspired by the former, employed detached conceptualism, minimal construction, and the readymade as techniques to interrogate the experience of art. Michael Craig-Martin's "Oak tree" and Marcel Duchamp's "Air de Paris" taken together seem to be precursors to Wysocan's "Untitled (Frozen Moment)".